walking home from school

Ok so today I was walking home from school and this really elderly woman approaches me and hands me a pamphlet. Usually I wouldn't take such a thing but it had a picture of a dog on it, and ever since Ralphie was introduced into my life I have an uncontrollable love for all canines.
So I continue on and open this pamphlet --preparing myself to read about blind dogs or something similar-- ONLY TO FIND, that this bloody thing has used false advertising as a ploy to try and convert people to Christianity. The text is just a little story about God himself.

I'm kind of annoyed and I start to have an inner conversation in my head debating "should I should have been all, no thanks, I'm an atheist (insert grim face)? ...And anyways, am I an atheist or am I agnostic? I thought I confirmed with myself a couple months ago that I was not going to be an atheist but rather, the lesser of extremes, an agnostic.... "

This inner discussion continues until I get to my street. I look both ways, car passes, cool I can go, and whilst crossing this CAR, this stupid shiny SUV almost runs me over. In fact I have to run, yes, RUN so that the car doesn't seriously injure me.

My heart is racing and I scramble into my house. I look down at this pamphlet and think, WOW! I almost DIED because of this piece of paper advocating the big mister.

Suffice to say, the decision has been clarified. I am an atheist.