168 eyes

So recently I was given some pretty good advice. I started to fret over the fact that everyone I knew had super duper real people jobs and I'm still being a bit of a willow wisp. I have two passions and I'm not sure how to unite them, especially because they are both on separate ends of the spectrum. Anyways, that kind of stuff can get you down since you constantly feel sort of helpless and confused.

Back to the advice: Acknowledge the great things you've done.

I have accomplished a lot of things I am proud of, and for some reason I don't give myself credit. The other day when I was on stage, I broke character for a second and became completely aware of the audience and what was happening...It was during one of the characters longer-ish monologues haha, and its never happened before.

When the play is about to start, yeah, its nerve-wracking, but more in an exciting way because it feels like you are about to feed the audience, or fuel them...More so in this play because it's a comedy. But once you're preparing to step on to the stage and you're in character, you sort of zone out the audience and stay in the moment of whats happening in the scene. HA isn't that strange. Zone out 168 people staring at you.

So when I broke, I was petrified, I realized, all these people were watching us...watching ME. I quickly slipped back into my character and tried to forget about it and carry on. I was a bit traumatized haha but was fine going into the second act. When I got home, I recognized the courage it took to go up on stage and act in front of all those people, and I felt happy.

What I've learnt: Don't measure your credentials by what's on your resume and acknowledge what you've done. Yes this can be hard when you are desperately seeking The Perfect Job, but it'll definately cut out a whole lota feeling shit about yourself time.